I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
