just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
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