so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
