I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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