just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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