Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
