I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
