I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize