nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
