God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
