Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
i think i just lost a toe
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
