I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize
