did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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