He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
