I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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