yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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