I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
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