We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
