So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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