I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
