I want to stick my p in your. b.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
