Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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