my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My breath smells like gin and sadness
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
