The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
