Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My penis needs a shock collar
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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