you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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