When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
