Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
