I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
