Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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