You smell like stripper and shame
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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