Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
