Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
