I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
