And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
