Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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