Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
