Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize