He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
