Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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