So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
