You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
