I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize