that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
