there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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