Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
