i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
