Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
