mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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