The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
