What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
