I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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