You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
