Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
