During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize