We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize