brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
