If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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