I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
